Twist and Shout

Twist and Shout
Life is never straight (Joey Kulkin photo)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

bai, bai, Love. bai, bai, Yumminess.

May 17, 2012

Lindsay Siwiec
Account Executive
Industry Publicity
636 Broadway, Suite 506
New York, NY 10012
T 212.571.2166

Dear Lindsay,

Thanks for the box of love, and by love I mean Jamaica Blueberry and Sumatra Dragonfruit and Ipanema Pomegranate. In a thousand years I never would have guessed Ipanema was in Brazil; and I only know that because I just Google'd it. When I hear "The Girl From Ipanema" I imagine she's from this far-away exotic place tucked between Vietnam and Cambodia. Not that Brazil isn't exotic. And here I think I'm pretty good at geography. Maybe the infusion of Ipaneman antioxidants will activate the untapped neurons in my badly damaged brain.

So, bai, huh? I drank the Ipanema Pomegranate the other night. It was clean and fruity and light on the tongue with no residue, and it tasted great. Who knew the Ipanemans grew such luscious pomegranates.

I just drank the Sumatra Dragonfruit to wash down 2 McDonald's dollar burgers and fries, which, I suspect, defeats the purpose of a healthy beverage. (You do remember the "badly damaged brain" line, right?) Well, anyway, I don't think I ever had Dragonfruit. I've had plenty of Sumatra coffee. What I like about this bottle is the "Meet Our Superfruit" lesson:

Coffeefruit? Really. Wikipedia breaks it down pretty well. This bai flavor was sweet with a little tang to it. It most reminded me of papaya. I liked the Ipanean Pomegranate better. I rotated the bottle a little more to read the ingredients: Filtered spring water, erythritol (natural sweetener), juice concentrates (pomegranate, strawberry), natural dragonfruit flavors, organic coffeefruit, citric acid, fruit and vegetable juice for color, organic stevia extract, white tea extract.

A few things pop out: 1) Why isn't dragonfruit flavors the first ingredient? Fourth? Really? You know, I'm all for the filtered spring water, and that's not even a bad first ingredient. But if you're naming a bai drink "Sumatra Dragonfruit," I want that ingredient to be first or second on the list. Unless I'm mistaken, isn't it that the lower the ingredient is on the list, the less the actual ingredient there is in the product? If that's the case, there are more pomegranate and strawberry juice concentrates than there are natural dragonfruit flavors? I'd love some clarification, Lindsay. Also, the word "erythritol" screamed out for an explanation. Wikipedia broke it down well. The only (minor) cause for concern was that more than 2,000 mg of erythritol a day can cause an increase in nausea and borborygmi. Borborygmi? Yeah, I had to look that up, too. Funny definition. I get that all the time. That all said, I like that bai uses erythritol as its sugar sweetener. Although, sugarcane would be optimal for me, unless studies show sugarcane is worse than erythritol.

So as we have it, Ipanema Pomegranate > Sumatra Dragonfruit. But Jamaica Blue Berry is waiting in the wings (even if the bottom of the bottle is badly covered in dust. Really, Lindsay, why do you hate me?).

I'll save the Jamaica Blue Berry (why is Blue Berry 2 words?) till tomorrow. I'll get back to you with the final word of where this flavor ranks against Ipanema and Sumatra goodies.

In the meantime, thanks for all of the other goodies you stuffed in the box.

Passport book with the many bai flavors and explanations

Lindsay's letter

A postcard to send to my friends touting free radicals!

The other side of the post card. This is going to Tophat

Till then, buh-bai!

Best Regards,
Joey Kulkin
Managing Editor, The Trentonian/
Producer, Trentonian TV
600 Perry Street
Trenton, NJ 08618
(609) 989-7800 ext. 251