Twist and Shout

Twist and Shout
Life is never straight (Joey Kulkin photo)

Monday, November 19, 2012

Vignettes from Vermont: Ginger Snaps

BENNINGTON -- All my life I've heard women go goo-goo over the color of my hair. "I've paid thousands of dollars just to get just that color," they've told me since 1978 or thereabouts, "and I *still* can't get it right."

Ha. Losers. Just pay me $5,000 and I'll grow it for a year and have it sheared, and you can have it weaved into a wig, or challah'd into extensions or whatever. I put my hair up for $5,000 on eBay just to see what kind of response the ad might generate. So far, none.

The plan for 18 months has been to grow the red-orange-brown curls till they're long enough to give to Locks For Love. Then I found out Pantene doesn't charge cancer patients for human-hair wigs and chose that outfit. I've delayed The Big Cut a few times but settled on December 31 -- unless someone pays me $5,000. Then I'll give $1,000 to charity.

Bennington is drunk on sunshine today. The sun is flushing through the Main Street windows of Fiddlehead at Four Corners. Courtesy of Art Gallery Dude's expert photography skills, here's how my hair looks at different angles when made love to by the sun.

Call me if you want my hair for five-K.